


Let It Go

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: All American Season 1 [1]
Category: All American (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Mentioned Jordan Baker, Mentioned Layla Keating, Mentioned Spencer James, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 22:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16334297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Ever since the night she spent with Asher 3 months ago, Olivia's been working on putting herself and her life back together. Of course things don't always go the way she wants them to.





	Let It Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThiamHarpy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiamHarpy/gifts).



> I'd been wanting at least an interaction with these two after the first episode and then the second episode came, and well... I could no longer hold off.   
> Dedicating this to Dana, because she's amazing and deserves all the nice things. And was there to yell with me as the car scene happened.

She wishes she could blame it all on the pills. Say that it was just because they lowered her inhibitions enough for her to not care whose bed she was falling into. But she knows that’s not completely it. The truth is that she’s had feelings for Asher since the 4th grade. He’d told a kid off for making fun of her pigtails, and then turned around and told her she shouldn't listen to what some boy that doesn’t even know how to properly tie his shoes tells her.

She’d known better than to like him, even then. He was her brother’s best friend and older than she was. There was no way he’d be interested in her. That didn’t stop her from continually falling for him.

She’d tried to push it aside when he’d started dating Layla, and for the most part it’s been working. Except of course she has to go and sleep with him.

She wishes she could remember more of it, at least to make it worth it. She knows it happened, has vague flashes of his body moving over hers, and the way his lips felt on her skin. It’s enough to make her crave more. And she hates it. No matter how much she wishes it wasn’t the case, he’s not hers to want. He’s Layla’s. Her best friend’s boyfriend.

It’s after that that she realizes she can’t keep living the way she is. Waking up naked in bed with your best friends boyfriend is a pretty sobering moment. Her parents aren’t happy, of course. She can tell how disappointed they are. Their little girl has a drug problem. She expects them to try and whisk her away secretly to rehab and tell some big story about her being away visiting relatives for the summer or something. They don’t. She doesn’t understand why until she has to come back after three months away and face everyone completely sober. They want her to learn from her mistakes and grow from them apparently.

It’s not hard for her to distance herself from everyone after that. Not with the way people stare at her and talk about her as she walks by. Word certainly gets around in good old Beverly. Layla tries to talk to her and get her to come back to their group, but the thought of having to be around all of them, around Asher, is too much. So she doesn’t. She makes up an excuse about needing space, and distance from that part of her life, not wanting to risk going back down the path she was on. Layla, of course, looks more than understanding and even hugs her and tells her they’ll be there when she’s ready.

She can feel Asher watching her sometimes, his gaze lingering for a little too long from across the courtyard at lunch time or in the halls. He always looks away before she can catch him, but she still knows. They’ve been part of each other’s lives long enough for her to know his little behaviors like that. Like the way he’ll try and look casual as he stares off into the distance after he’s been caught staring.

She wants to march over to him and tell him to cut it out, but she can never bring herself to do it. They haven’t spoken since she left him in bed that morning, with the promise to keep things quiet. It’s too hard to talk to him now. To talk to anyone. She knows Jordan is worried, but he doesn’t ask about it, probably thinking the distance is about her sobriety. It kind of is. She knows being around parties and that life would make it hard on her. The temptation would be far too real and she doesn’t want to risk it.

Olivia does her best to focus on herself, staying sober, and being a better person. Not that she was a bad person before, but things did get pretty dark for a while. She doesn’t want to go back there. She needs light and positivity in her life. Which is why she takes up an art class. It’s nice for her to have something to focus on. She’s surprisingly good at it, or at least she thinks so. She’s able to do more than stick figures so she counts that as a win. It’s a good way to center and relax herself, making it easy for other things to float to the back of her mind.

Except of course it all comes out again when Spencer James comes to Beverly. At first she doesn’t think anything of it. She knows how important getting the team back on track is to her father. Of course he’d want to have more good players on the team. _More_ because it would be unfair to Jordan, Asher, and the other guys to say they were anything less than great. She spent enough time watching games because of her Dad to know a little bit about football, so she knows they’re good. They just had a rough time of it last year.

She knows the moment Spencer lays eyes on Layla that there’s going to be trouble. She tries to steer him away but from the way he listens she might as well have been warning a brick wall. Still, she thinks it’ll be him pining for her and earning a few glares from Asher and that’s it. What she’s not expecting is for Layla to flirt with him. Especially not with her boyfriend a few feet away.

She knows Asher enough to be aware of how jealous he can be. For him to think Spencer is a threat on the field is one thing, but for football and with his girlfriend? It kind of makes her wish she was talking to Asher so she could try and talk him down. She’s done it before but she doubts he’d listen to anything she has to say these days.

All she can do is watch as it all plays out. It’s not pretty, of course it isn’t. She doesn’t understand how all the men in her life can be such idiots. Jordan. Her father. Spencer. Asher. All of them. Idiots. She knows she doesn’t have room to talk about communicating, but she can’t help but think all the drama they’re now in would have been avoided if they’d just talked.

What she’s not counting on is for Asher to reach out to her. She almost doesn’t show up when he asks her to meet up with him, but her curiosity gets the better of her. Of course she makes him park a few blocks over from her house, not wanting to draw any attention from her family. They have to have noticed she hasn’t talked to Asher in months, especially Jordan, given how close they used to be before… well everything. Meeting up with him in his car would be more than a little bit suspicious.

It feels weird, walking towards Asher’s car like she’s done so many times before. But this time is different. The friendliness isn’t there as she gets in, closing the door as she starts speaking. “Okay, I’m here. What’s so important?”

She can hear Asher’s exasperation in his voice without even having to look at him, “We haven’t talked since you got back from rehab. I thought that…”

Olivia tries to play her tone off as annoyed, even as she feels herself start to panic. “That what?”

“That we should,” Asher says. Olivia can feel his eyes on her but deliberately keeps her gaze locked ahead. “Look I—I know that I haven’t been the best boyfriend to Layla, but I wanna change that. And with Spencer at Beverly now... I feel like she’s pulling away. I wanna make sure that you and I are on the same page.”

She feels her anger start to rise. After everything she’s been through and had to give up, he has the nerve to come to her about Layla?

“There is no you and I. It was one drug-induced screw up. We got caught up in the moment and... I had to walk away from my best friend because of it.” She finally looks at Asher. “I lost Layla.” She barely stops the ‘ _and you’_ from slipping past her lips. “And I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.”

“ _We_ both have to live with that,” Asher tells her.

“Then let’s just keep pretending that it didn’t happen, okay?”

The expression on his face almost makes her take the words back. She doesn’t understand how or why he would look as if he doesn’t want them to pretend. Not when he came to her because he wants to make things right with Layla. It’s not fair. To either of them.

“Layla deserves at least that from us,” she says, getting out of the car.

She doesn’t look back at him as she starts to walk away. Not even when she feels his eyes on her. If she looks back she might be tempted to go back. To try and actually talk this out. But she can’t. It’s better this way. She needs to keep her distance. Asher can sort out his own problems.

She keeps walking, counting each step, and telling herself she’s doing the right thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


End file.
